pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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