You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
