dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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