my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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