How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize