Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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