No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
