We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
