It's Friday. Sex?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
