did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
