Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
