Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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