Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
