margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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