he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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