I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
