She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
