shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
