I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
