Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When are your genitals available?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
