that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize