I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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