I wanna passion pit in your ass
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
