So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
babies were throwing up all over the place
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize