My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
