I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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