I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
