is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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