coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
