True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize