What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
