hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
