I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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