I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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