4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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