right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
