I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
