so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
