I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
