Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
