u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
