me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
