you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
