My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
3 2 1 whiskey
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
