there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
