please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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