Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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