Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Green mimosas i think yes
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
