just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
