Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
organizing the empties. That sober.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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