talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
