Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize