this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
