My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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