Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize