Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
