So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
