i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
