last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
