If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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