why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
